Federal Reserve Announcement Today: Let’s Keep The Party Going Mofos!!

In a shocking twist of events, Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell went against everything the market was expecting, threw up 2 middle fingers and said, “Let’s keep the party going, mofos!!”

“It’s not like you can suddenly take all the crack away from the junky you’ve created,” Powell continued, “sometimes you’ve just gotta hang in there and hope the problems go away on their own. After all, cutting off the supply and trying to go cold turkey gets pretty messy for everyone involved.”

Well, maybe he didn’t say those exact words.

But Powell didn’t follow through with the rate hike that the market had priced in, which caused stocks to bounce higher.

The bulls rejoiced and popped champagne once again, and the bears went back to hibernating… upset that their victory was so fleeting.

But it wasn’t all doom and gloom for the perma-pessimists of the stock market as the Federal Reserve signaled it was getting ready to raise interest rates – most likely in March.

Maybe.

Possibly.

No promises.

The Fed’s policy statement stated, “It will soon be appropriate to raise the target range for the federal funds rate.”

That’s good news for investors who have been waiting for the Fed to act on the high inflation of the epidemic era.

Increasing interest rates, on the other hand, has historically resulted in a titanic-like fall for the stock market.

In any case, the party continues, mofos.

At least for now.

Then in a wild turn of events, when answering questions about the Fed’s earlier statement,
Powell confirmed that a half-point rate hike in March was a possibility.

This had the bulls throw in the towel in disgust, and the bears come roaring back from hibernation as the market puked up it’s previous gains.

To quote the Joker: “And here we go!”